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March 23, 2017

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Posted by Kat Inokai
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Kat Inokai

As editor and publisher, Kat is the brain (and the bump) behind The Bump & Hustle. She is the face of Hustle on the Street, and co-host of The Ramble podcast. She's been a featured blogger for YummyMummyClub.ca, and her writing has appeared in Huffington Post Canada, and Metro News.

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Watch #SwerveSeries Again, From The Very Beginning
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  • LET THAT SH!T GO. So this is 26. Well, actually 41, but numbers? What are those? Ages, clothing sizes, scale reports...This year I let that sh!t go. This is my birthday. Last year, we welcomed it in with a boom. It was wild. Cake and friends and all sorts of wonder. This year? I let that sh!t go. Because I have never been happier to be wearing my PJs, and eating Junior Mints in my laundry room at 2:30pm on a Saturday. Last year I had these precision goals for my career and my life. Guess what life had in mind for me? Well, you can bet it taught me to let that sh!t go. This year has been the most terrifying, awesome, ‘grabbed and dropped on to a different track’, ‘what the heck is happening’ year of my life. Every time I thought I had figured it out, well, I just had to - you guessed it- let that sh!t go. I fought letting go every step of the way because we are pretty much raised to believe that power and control are synonymous. I desperately wanted to control my path - and especially my health. But it’s only been in surrendering and going along for the wild ride that I have found my own deep resilience; my ability to truly love myself and others; the core of my creativity; and the absolute beauty of this crazy thing called life. So here’s to not planning. Here’s to breathing each moment in and savouring whatever it brings. Here’s to loving to new depths and igniting gratitude and compassion in the world around me, as it sparks within my soul. Here’s to never questioning my path or purpose again. And most importantly, here’s to LETTING THAT SH!T GO. All my love to you, my friends and family. I am so honoured to share today with you. ❤️ #gratefulgirl - [Image of Kat looking in the mirror smiling, wearing a Jaws T-shirt and holding a box of Junior Mints]
  • Today I’m honouring my journey. My losses. My tears. My zigs and zags. My mistakes. Today I won’t try and cover up the cracks. I will embrace the light they let in. Today I will grieve moments that might have been. I will be gentle with my body. I will look to the depths and heights of my feelings with compassion and understanding. I will surrender to them and trust them. I will not lie to myself. I will not bury my truth. I will not say ‘this too shall pass’, or ‘I’m over it’. But I will find the soft glimmers of joy in my memories again. I will find the golden thread. I will stitch my story into a loving patchwork - And run my fingers over each piece with lingering pride. • October is a time of thanks; a tide of crisp air beckoning to magic and mystery. It’s such a special time to me- it’s my birth month. But it’s also a time when I remember my angels the most. I didn’t know at the time that my miscarriages were the result of autoimmune disease. I don’t know why October of all months is where so many milestones from different pregnancies converge- a due date, a time of loss, surgery. 7+ years later I still remember each soul crushing loss. But this year I did something new- I took a day to myself, to commemorate, to mourn, and to celebrate my children, my angels, and the mother I have become. • For more, watch my latest IGTV video where I talk about tracking personal traumas alongside my symptoms. #miscarriagesupport
  • I am so damn grateful to be here. ❤️ • This year has been so crazy. I can’t believe how much my family has been through. I can’t believe I am still here. And yes I might talk often about recovery and the challenges of chronic illness, but these two little faces always bring me back to the joy and magic in life. • To all my spoonie friends who know so much about savouring every moment with family and seizing every possible ‘yes’ just to be together- • Happy Thanksgiving from the very bottom of my heart. ❤️
  • T R I G G E R S You think you’re over it. You think it’s in the past. You think you’ve grown beyond it. You think you’re at peace. You think you can remember without clenching your jaw. You think you can hear about others’ pain. You think you can listen to ridicule, judgement and confrontation without reliving your own shame. You think you can diplomatically steer the conversation. You think you can scroll through all the stories without your blood boiling in anger and injustice. You think you can look into your daughter’s eyes and preserve the world of her innocence. You think you can stay silent. . . But you can’t. — I honour you. I see you.❤️ #believesurvivors — [Kat wears glasses and hugs her smiling daughter]
  • This is a good day. This is a bad day. This is the worst pain. This is the sweetest joy. This is a flare week. This is the best weekend. This is me in the fetal position. This is me standing tall. This is depression taking over. This is me fighting tooth and nail. This is me spilling over with love. This is me with mobility aids. This is me dancing with my kids. This is me terrified. This is me ignited. This is me pushing everyone away. This is me holding it all together. This is me looking warmly at my family. This is me scrambling to keep up. This is MCTD, Crohns, chronic pain, and anxiety. This is why looks don’t matter. This is me. ❤️ - So often we smile through it all. #makeupandasmile was a campaign started by the lovely @lifeoflittlethings to show people just that- how deceiving looks can be when you’re fighting an invisible illness. I was so excited to be asked to participate and to be tagged by the wonderful @one_spoon_at_a_time_ ! Please make sure you follow them if you aren’t already. ❤️ - And now I’d like to spread this great message - the rules are simple! Throw on some lipstick and a smile- and share your story using the #makeupandasmile tag. - Looking at you lovelies! @imaginationbycat @justinehelenacumming @lifeintheladiesroom @millieinthemiddle @codiecabral @natashalipman @camrach
  • “Let life guide you. Let LOVE guide you.” - Vee This is 8 years old. ❤️ - Sometimes I feel like I’m a source of negative messaging - for all my positivity there’s a lot of talk about chronic illness and coping and strategies and staying strong in this house...I tend to question if that’s enough. And then, this happens. - “That’s what you do, Mama. It’s your philosophy, and it’s mine too. Right?.. Mom? So um, where’s the tape? I want to put this up in my room.” - I guess sometimes when you are looking for a sign, you get an actual sign. ☀️❤️ #imnotcryingyourecrying
  • I spend a lot of time explaining myself. . I spend a lot of time educating gently about the rare, and chronic diseases I have and why I can or can’t participate the same way as others. . I spend a lot of time being patient with those who say things like ‘you’re better now though, right?’ or ‘But you were just sick a few weeks ago!’ . I have to explain the difference between ‘managing’ and ‘curing’, and explain that my mobility aids have actually given me freedom and happiness. Shock. . I spend a lot of time encouraging those around me to open their minds to individual biology and wellness - I softly remind them that there is a difference between giving advice and being ableist. . I remind people that I am no less dependable as a person. I am still me- and perhaps it’s the process that needs to change to become more inclusive and accessible. There’s no reason I need to be ‘obviously benched’. . I explain that although some days I feel like a warrior, I don’t want to fight my body, or struggle through life- I want to work with my gifts and love the body I was given. No matter what. . And although I accept that I have chronic conditions and that these intertwine with my Earthly intentions, I am anything but resigned in my life. . I am resilient. I adapt - more than you will ever know. I am more aware of the moment than I ever have been. I love more deeply than ever before. I will never resign. .
  • 4 YEARS AGO.... I was walking around Fan Expo trying to get a certain little monkey to come out. We had already gone through 12 (yes, count ‘em TWELVE) false labours due to my Crohns, the MCTD, and this little jokester’s non-stop dance party extravaganza. A day later - on LABOUR DAY - he finally decided to arrive. 🤣 🤦🏼‍♀️ . I’ve always loved Fan Expo, but now every year, I remember how excited this wiggly bump was; how I pregnant belly body-checked unsuspecting teens to meet Neal Adams and his lovely wife; how my incredible cosplaying friends were around me; and most of all- how magical it was to welcome this amazing little boy into our family’s waiting arms. . Happy Almost Birthday, Kid Vader! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
  • Just float. It’s okay. You’ll get to exactly where you need to be. I promise. ❤️

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  • LET THAT SH!T GO. So this is 26. Well, actually 41, but numbers? What are those? Ages, clothing sizes, scale reports...This year I let that sh!t go. This is my birthday. Last year, we welcomed it in with a boom. It was wild. Cake and friends and all sorts of wonder. This year? I let that sh!t go. Because I have never been happier to be wearing my PJs, and eating Junior Mints in my laundry room at 2:30pm on a Saturday. Last year I had these precision goals for my career and my life. Guess what life had in mind for me? Well, you can bet it taught me to let that sh!t go. This year has been the most terrifying, awesome, ‘grabbed and dropped on to a different track’, ‘what the heck is happening’ year of my life. Every time I thought I had figured it out, well, I just had to - you guessed it- let that sh!t go. I fought letting go every step of the way because we are pretty much raised to believe that power and control are synonymous. I desperately wanted to control my path - and especially my health. But it’s only been in surrendering and going along for the wild ride that I have found my own deep resilience; my ability to truly love myself and others; the core of my creativity; and the absolute beauty of this crazy thing called life. So here’s to not planning. Here’s to breathing each moment in and savouring whatever it brings. Here’s to loving to new depths and igniting gratitude and compassion in the world around me, as it sparks within my soul. Here’s to never questioning my path or purpose again. And most importantly, here’s to LETTING THAT SH!T GO. All my love to you, my friends and family. I am so honoured to share today with you. ❤️ #gratefulgirl - [Image of Kat looking in the mirror smiling, wearing a Jaws T-shirt and holding a box of Junior Mints]
  • Today I’m honouring my journey. My losses. My tears. My zigs and zags. My mistakes. Today I won’t try and cover up the cracks. I will embrace the light they let in. Today I will grieve moments that might have been. I will be gentle with my body. I will look to the depths and heights of my feelings with compassion and understanding. I will surrender to them and trust them. I will not lie to myself. I will not bury my truth. I will not say ‘this too shall pass’, or ‘I’m over it’. But I will find the soft glimmers of joy in my memories again. I will find the golden thread. I will stitch my story into a loving patchwork - And run my fingers over each piece with lingering pride. • October is a time of thanks; a tide of crisp air beckoning to magic and mystery. It’s such a special time to me- it’s my birth month. But it’s also a time when I remember my angels the most. I didn’t know at the time that my miscarriages were the result of autoimmune disease. I don’t know why October of all months is where so many milestones from different pregnancies converge- a due date, a time of loss, surgery. 7+ years later I still remember each soul crushing loss. But this year I did something new- I took a day to myself, to commemorate, to mourn, and to celebrate my children, my angels, and the mother I have become. • For more, watch my latest IGTV video where I talk about tracking personal traumas alongside my symptoms. #miscarriagesupport
  • I am so damn grateful to be here. ❤️ • This year has been so crazy. I can’t believe how much my family has been through. I can’t believe I am still here. And yes I might talk often about recovery and the challenges of chronic illness, but these two little faces always bring me back to the joy and magic in life. • To all my spoonie friends who know so much about savouring every moment with family and seizing every possible ‘yes’ just to be together- • Happy Thanksgiving from the very bottom of my heart. ❤️
  • T R I G G E R S You think you’re over it. You think it’s in the past. You think you’ve grown beyond it. You think you’re at peace. You think you can remember without clenching your jaw. You think you can hear about others’ pain. You think you can listen to ridicule, judgement and confrontation without reliving your own shame. You think you can diplomatically steer the conversation. You think you can scroll through all the stories without your blood boiling in anger and injustice. You think you can look into your daughter’s eyes and preserve the world of her innocence. You think you can stay silent. . . But you can’t. — I honour you. I see you.❤️ #believesurvivors — [Kat wears glasses and hugs her smiling daughter]
  • This is a good day. This is a bad day. This is the worst pain. This is the sweetest joy. This is a flare week. This is the best weekend. This is me in the fetal position. This is me standing tall. This is depression taking over. This is me fighting tooth and nail. This is me spilling over with love. This is me with mobility aids. This is me dancing with my kids. This is me terrified. This is me ignited. This is me pushing everyone away. This is me holding it all together. This is me looking warmly at my family. This is me scrambling to keep up. This is MCTD, Crohns, chronic pain, and anxiety. This is why looks don’t matter. This is me. ❤️ - So often we smile through it all. #makeupandasmile was a campaign started by the lovely @lifeoflittlethings to show people just that- how deceiving looks can be when you’re fighting an invisible illness. I was so excited to be asked to participate and to be tagged by the wonderful @one_spoon_at_a_time_ ! Please make sure you follow them if you aren’t already. ❤️ - And now I’d like to spread this great message - the rules are simple! Throw on some lipstick and a smile- and share your story using the #makeupandasmile tag. - Looking at you lovelies! @imaginationbycat @justinehelenacumming @lifeintheladiesroom @millieinthemiddle @codiecabral @natashalipman @camrach
  • “Let life guide you. Let LOVE guide you.” - Vee This is 8 years old. ❤️ - Sometimes I feel like I’m a source of negative messaging - for all my positivity there’s a lot of talk about chronic illness and coping and strategies and staying strong in this house...I tend to question if that’s enough. And then, this happens. - “That’s what you do, Mama. It’s your philosophy, and it’s mine too. Right?.. Mom? So um, where’s the tape? I want to put this up in my room.” - I guess sometimes when you are looking for a sign, you get an actual sign. ☀️❤️ #imnotcryingyourecrying

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